Stupid Carmax, Stupid Blonde

Today has just been one of those days where you really wish that you could duct tape your children to the wall... Even if I could I wouldn't have the energy to do it.

Mikayla took EIGHT hours to clean her room, not because it was that dirty but because she just didn't want to do it. I know have a literal mountain of laundry from the things she has shoved under her bed the past month. We could have had a monkey living in there and I wouldn't have known it but I digress.

Caleb climbed the bathroom counter and somehow broke the cold water handle... while it was running and people wonder why I keep the tools in my house and not my shed.

Then the icing on the cake? I got pulled over... I really thought it was because Mikayla kept turning around in her seat but no... I just bought a van in January, the dealership *cough cough carmax* said that they would go ahead and register and tag my van and then I could pick up the plates and registration from the dealership when it was ready. Sweet I thought. They also stated that since renewal was in March that they would tag it all the way until March 2015 because my 60 day tag would be done in March. Cool right? Well, blonde me never even glanced at the registration or the tags for that matter.... They only did it until March 2014. I have been driving on expired tags for three months and had no clue about it. So, I figured okay big misunderstanding, I will check my buyers order and sure enough I was only charged 65.00 dollars for my tags so at least I didn't get overcharged for tags that I didn't get. Guess I get to go to the DMV tomorrow and waste my life away with five kids. Bah humbag. 

It is in the air!

Prayer Meeting Rule #1

Never take five children by yourself ever again. They will run through the church, somersault over pews, scream as loud as they can, throw toys at other unsuspecting people praying. They will even hurl food at you. This is not conductive to any prayer. I gave up after twenty minutes and left.

Prayer Meeting Rule #2
If your son says he has to go to the bathroom even though he just went, you should let him. Otherwise he will poop his pants next to you and then you want to gag... Yes, this really happened last night and yes he really is five years old but in my defense he had just went to the bathroom five minutes before that. 

Fasting

Sunday was Pentecost Sunday (if you don't know what that is Read Acts 2). We started our fast Sunday after morning church and go through the week then take communion next Sunday. So many people ask me about fasting because they don't understand it. We don't actually fast from all food for a whole week. Sunday-Wednesday we remove all caffeine and carbonation drinks from our diet. On Wednesday we add no sugar on top of that. Friday night we fast from everything except water and air. Sunday afternoon we break our fast and take communion Sunday night at church. So, no we aren't actually starving all week or anything like that! The reasons we fast are to humble ourselves to God, for remission of our sins (as we are to be pure when we take communion), to help us pray (it's amazing when you are making your flesh submit how much more you pray). Now onto kids. So many people think I deprive my children of food Friday-Sunday, that isn't actually the case. With Mikayla & Shaun (7&5) they chose something that is very important to them to abstain from (this time they chose all electronics Fri-Sun), they do however fast with the no sugar/soda/caffeine though, which isn't a bad thing for them anyway since they already bounce off the walls. The little kiddos have no concept what they are doing and don't understand so while they don't get sugar they have no idea why and don't seem to complain too much. Now before you get your panties in a twist about me forcing my kids to fast let's get something straight. I have heard "your kids need to decide for themselves if they are going to fast" I don't agree with that, if it was up to most people they wouldn't fast (no caffeine? ugh I hate that part it is the only thing that seems to keep me going) so I can't expect my kids to just chose to fast. I have to teach them and train them up in the way of God and by telling them this is fast week and this is why we do it (which they have understood for a while) that is me training them up in the way they should go in God.

Some more reading for you if you have more questions---
Unger's Bible Dictionary explains that the word fast in the Bible is from the Hebrew word sum, meaning "to cover" the mouth, or from the Greek word nesteuo , meaning "to abstain." For spiritual purposes, it means to go without eating and drinking (Esther:4:16). 

King David wrote that he "humbled [him]self with fasting" (Psalm:35:13).

The Bible records that great men of faith such as Moses, Elijah, Daniel, Paul and Jesus Himself fasted so that they might draw closer to God (Exodus:34:28; 1 Kings:19:8;Daniel:9:3; Daniel:10:2-3
; 2 Corinthians:11:27In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.; Matthew:4:2). Jesus knew that His true disciples, once He was no longer there in the flesh with them, at times would need to fast to regain and renew their zeal to serve Him (Mark:2:18-20

).

Happy Birthday Baby girl!

Rebecca is ONE! She demolished her cake as you can tell from the pictures and mommy had a new first. Bathing a baby in a public sink (hence no clothes in the last picture). Love this little girl :)

Snooze

I really have nothing profound to say except this little adorable one year old decided to keep mommy up all night. She tried keeping daddy up first but since he had to work early in the morning, mommy saved daddy. Now mommy has five kids running around and is taking extra long blinks... I see my house being a disaster by the end of the day. Tomorrow is Rebecca's first birthday party, I can't believe she is growing so fast. It just seems like yesterday she made her appearance into the world and I have blinked and the first year is gone. Cherish your babies, they grow too fast. 

Gears Grinded

So as most people I have, I have Facebook... Some days I question my sanity in actually having on but I digress. However today while I try not to be offended by things and just pass over it one post stood out at me.

 "I don't understand woman who stay with guys who beat them and cheat your just as stupid as him for staying with him if he's beating on you and you continue to stay with him then you deserve every last hit and if he's cheated on you once hunny he will do it a again !!"

This was her post and it really grinded my gears. One, you don't know, you haven't been there. Two, you can't dictate what you would do if you have never been in that situation. I am not one to air my business, quite frankly I don't like people knowing my personal business. Yes, I have a blog but it is nothing that is extremely personal. It is Biblical or things my crazy kids have done. However, tonight it is really on my heart to discuss some things in my past. Maybe if it helps one person then I will be okay with my decision to do this. This post may come down but for now I feel this is the right thing to do.

I was a "victim" of abuse. I put it in quotations because now that I am out of it I am stronger, smarter, and more aware. I married a man eight years ago, while dating he was charming, attentive, and kind. I really thought he was "the one." We married a year later and I got pregnant with my oldest two months later. All was still great we never even fought. Once she was born and we moved to my old hometown things changed. On our one year anniversary we got into a fight and he locked me outside, calling me psycho for being upset that he didn't want to spend time with me on our anniversary. He made me believe I was the bad guy. It was just a "fight" but it made me start questioning my mental stability. This continued on for six months, anytime we got into a fight it always ended up being convinced it was my fault. We usually fought about him being up all night with the neighbors drinking and me taking care of the oldest and not having support. He would tell me I was insecure, that I couldn't do anything without him etc. That should have been my warning flag but I really started to believe it. He had me convinced that I needed anti-depressants, that I was co-dependent. Then in August of 2007 it was 6am and I had just gotten out of the ER for a bad kidney infection and early that morning I asked him to make a bottle. I could barely move I was so sick. He ended up hitting me while I had our daughter in my arms, multiple times. I called the police and they took him to jail. I said I was done, this was never going to happen again I wouldn't allow it. While I was in the shower that night he came back and told me how sorry he was, that he didn't remember what happened because he was still drunk from the previous night and that it would never happen again, that he loved me etc. Then I questioned myself (he had already ingrained in me that fights were my fault) maybe I jumped the gun, maybe I shouldn't have called the cops. This was my fault that he would have this on my record and things like that. Two weeks later, almost the same scenario happened this time it was way worse, the neighbor literally came inside to drag him out and my ex knocked him out. This time I was taken to the hospital. I vowed to never get back with him again. This went on for six years... six long years never knowing when it would happen, always walking on egg shells. It was so ingrained in me that it was my fault these fights started, that I was the bad person. Then one day I had just had enough, I finally washed my hands of him after he was bashing my head on the floor I reached up and choked him defending myself. We both went to jail that night, despite defending myself. My charges were dropped but it was enough to make me realize that if I didn't get out I would end up in jail for a long time. So, ladies here are some facts about domestic violence.
If he wants to move fast in the relationship, he doesn't respect your boundaries, is jealous and accuses you of cheating, wants to know where you are at all times, is constantly calling/texting you, tells you that you are crazy, fat, stupid, i am the only one that will love you, doesn't take responsibility for his actions, all his past relationships failed because they were "psycho", doesn't want you to spend time with family or friends, seems to good to be true, rages out of control, is impulsive you need to run. Run before you have kids, run before you are committed to him, run before you have too much time invested. Not to de-escalate this, guys this goes for women to. Anyone can be abusive and you never know who it could be happening to. 

Heavy Heart

1 Peter 5:8 - Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.

We all know that one person that they continue to be afflicted by the devil and just can't seem to shake him. I have a heavy heart tonight. Someone that used to be a very important part of my life fell into temptation yet again. I don't plan to name names or go into specifics but it really is sad. Not only has this person lost jobs, family, children, friends, he may be losing his freedom and no longer has anything left in his possession. 

Proverbs 20:1- Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived therby is not wise. 

I have personal convictions from God not to drink but my conviction came long before that. My biological father was an alcoholic until three years ago. My great-grandparents died due to drunk drivers, I was married to an alcoholic for seven years. I have watched it devour and destroy and it is sad to sit there and watch someone destroy themselves and the people around them. 

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. 

This is why my heart is heavy, because I want everyone to go to Heaven. I don't want to see anyone I know go to hell especially when I know what they are capable of and the great works they could do if they only let God work in their lives. I know all I can do is pray... 

Exodus 14:14 - The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. 

God is always fighting for the lost, they just have to realize it... I hope and pray this person finds that their way isn't working and that God's way is the right way. *sigh*