Sprung from NICU

MS celebrated her 1 week old birthday on Thursday... She got a fantastic present too! She got to come home from the hospital woohoo! I thought I would be up all night, get no sleep, and have her screaming all hours of the night but I thought wrong. The past two nights have been very mellow, she is eating great and keeping her temperature YAY!

Went to the doctor on Friday and she has gained 2 more ounces in a day bringing her up to 4 lbs. 5 oz. he said to keep up what we were doing and she would be big in no time. She is now in the 7th percentile for weight she was in 3rd so thats always good news.

Her umbilical cord fell off at the doctors office when the doctor was examining her. Not sure if she has an innie or an outie, its kinda in between... I will report more on that later!

Day 6 of NICU

Today has been an extremely long day. I don't think my body can take much more of the lack of sleep. I know once she is home it will be a lot easier because when she wants to eat I won't have to drive 15 minutes to get her some of my yummy moo juice! I can't wait to have her home. They put her back in the open air crib and her body temperature has been able to stay high enough to stay in there for 12 hours and counting, so thats one step closer to getting home. She started having an irregular heartbeat today that our nurse saw. They ran an 12 lead EKG and called in a cardiologist consult. We saw the cardiologist and he said its fairly common even in newborns and not to be alarmed. I am very glad it was nothing but very thankful to have had it checked out just in case. The doctors are really good but none of them communicate with each other which somewhat upsets me. One doctor (her actual peditrician) said to supplement my breast milk feedings with 35 ml of breast milk & fortifier to increase it to 22 calories. She did really well with that but then the nurse practioner came in a couple hours later and tried to reduce that amount. Well angry momma bear came out and I told her like it was, I don't think she likes me anymore but this stuff happens all the time and they always contradict each other. Its really rather annoying! She has gained even more weight. Gained an ounce in 1 day YAY she is now up to 4 lbs. 3 oz. so officially she is above her birth weight yippee! Tomorrow is most likely her carseat test, I am crossing my fingers that she stays warm (never been exposed to open air without blanket for more than an hour) and that her O2 stays where it needs to be. Keep your fingers crossed for this please!

Mikayla's Birth Story

March 21st I was put on cervadil to thin my cervix, they didn't think this would put me into labor and I would have to wait for the morning to start pitocin. Around 10pm that night those contractions started and let me just say contractions are not fun! All I could do was lay there and imagine how gorgeous she was going to be that is what helped me get through those nasty nasty contractions.

Around 3:30 in the morning of the 22nd my nurse came in looked at the monitor and said "hmm" then another nurse and another... At this point I started to freak out a little bit, I asked what was wrong, they said her heart rate was falling every time I had a contraction. The said they were scheduling a c-section at 5:30 in the morning and they had to stop the contractions.

Next thing I know the nurse comes in and says we are prepping you for c-section now... (this was about 3:50am). Next thing I know I am being wheeled into an operating room. I remember hearing rock music playing and it was really hot in there! It took six tries for the doctor to get my epidural correctly placed which seemed like an eternity being hunched over and leaning on M. As soon as the epidural took effect they started cutting.

It was really laid back in there I think mainly because I knew all the nurses and the doctors because of weeks of being there on bedrest and wheeling around the hospital almost non-stop in a gorgeous black wheelchair (haha). I got compliments like "you got really great tissue" which I was amused about that then and I still am! M was able to videotape the whole thing which was absolutely awesome.

At 4:39 am MS was brought into this lovely world. The moment Dr. S raised her over the screen for me to see I lost it. I started bawling and I was so relieved she was here. I mumbled the words "I'm a mommy" it hit me that all of these months that I have had my little angel inside me I had grown to love her so much that it hurt.

She had to be taken to NICU because her body temperature was really low so M went up there with her which was a relief to me. Around 8 am they wheeled me up in the bed and let me see her for 5 minutes, I cried the whole time. I was devastated that I couldn't hold my baby, all I could do was stare and that hurt.

Around 930 I was already up there to go see my precious angel she was in an isolette and a heart rate monitor attached to her. I begin to cry, she looked so vulnerable and tiny. I just wanted to grab her, hold her to my chest and run out of the building.

Now its day 6 in NICU. She was under bili-lights for jaundice but those levels have went down. She is eating very well! They are weaning her temperature down. She was moved to a crib but had to go right back to an isolette because she had gotten too cold. Doctors say she should be home by the weekend... I am sure hoping so!

She's here!

This little munchkin here would be why I haven't updated in a while. I will update soon I promise

Ms born March 22 @ 439am weighing 4 lbs. 2 oz. and 17 inches long

Thankful

I have a lot of time to really think lately. I sit here day in day out for the past five days and I have eleven more days to go. Yes, I will admit I have been feeling sorry for myself and realized that is just pure stupid. I am able to go outside in a wheelchair, I am able to get out of my room. Also I am 34 weeks, most of these women here with the exception of 2 or 3 women. Really I am one of the lucky ones. Earlier today there was a lady who I believe was 25 weeks pregnant and she went into labor and they couldn't stop it. She had to have a c-section and I just feel so bad for her. Reason I say think she was so many weeks is you catch certain things while wheeling through the hallways. So tonight before I go to sleep I will pray that her and her child or children are safe and that they are recovering because today I am one of the lucky ones.

In for the duration...

Well I am in the hospital. Finally got my internet connection up and running woohoo! I went to the doctor on Tuesday. They hooked me up to the NST and the baby was not reactive (meaning more than 3 acclerations in 30 minutes). Midwife wanted to do a BPP(Bio-Physical Profile) which is they want 2 movements & 2 kicks in 30 minutes. We were not prepared for what they said next. She is measuring two weeks behind and they wanted me to go see the perinatologist immediately. They sent me next door to the hospital and I saw Dr. S and he confirmed that yes she was two weeks behind in growth. Weighing 3.4 lbs. He diagnosed me with IUGR (Inter-uterine growth retardation) he recommended I stay in the hospital until delivery to monitor her and recommended inducing me at 36 weeks which is on March 21st. So I am here for a while. I am scared to death I know she will be in NICU for a while and they sent a neonatologist in to discuss that with me. I am trying to prepare for that emotionally. Dr. L said she shouldn't be in NICU for too long and will most likely be able to breath on her own and I will be able to breast feed her. They are just worried about her weight. I will try to keep everyone posted.

33 weeks

Selfish?

I am 33 weeks today, I am still kinda in shock that I have made it this far. Considering that I have been in pre-labor since 29 weeks. I am sitting here wondering if I should make the decision to stop going in when I have contractions to get the terbutaline shot. Here is a little information on this shot: it is not FDA approved for stopping contractions, it is used "off list" for this. The most common side effects are: jitteriness (they aren't kidding!), increased heart rate (when my normal HR is around 70-80 and it goes to 141 i think that would definitely be considered increased heart rate), tremors (when you can't even see the wall because you are shaking so hard, its time to do something) mild adverse effects are: (which they say are "less common"): headache (yup they aren't kidding), dizziness (haven't had this one), drowsiness (most definitely!), restlessness (nope), insomnia (nope, never ever had a problem with this), rapid, pounding heart rate (ha! if that's what you call a HR of 141), increased sweating (no), muscle cramps in legs or hands (legs and it feels like my bones are breaking), nausea, heartburn, vomiting (haven't had those three woohoo), increased blood sugar. severe adverse effects are: rapid or irregular heartbeat (yup yup and check yup), increased blood pressure (yup), lowered blood calcium (don't think so), liver toxicity (not to my knowledge), severe lowering of blood pressure, seizures (nope & nope)... okay so for side effects I have all the common ones, most of the "mildly adverse", and one of the serious ones, yet they keep giving me this crap! By the way Tachycardia of the heart is defined as more than 100 beats per minute, I think I qualify for this being my heart rate was ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY ONE!!! Again, why do they think it is safe for a pregnant woman to take this medication??? Had I known any of this before I might not have accepted this shot. Also I have had the betamethasone (steroids to mature babies lungs), which taken in conjunction with terbutaline can cause other serious complications and puts me at risk for more complications, YET THEY GIVE THIS CRAP TO ME! Here are the complications it can have to MS: Tachycardia, Hypocalcemia, Hypoglycemia, Myocardial Ischemia,Cardiac Arrythmias, Hypotension, and Intraventricular Hemorrhaging. So am I accepting these medications that are harming me and most likely my baby just to keep her in longer when right now the risks of her being born right now are: not being able to maintain blood pressure, not being able to maintain body temperature, not being able to maintain blood sugar, (all of these are fairly minor things that she would have to stay in the NICU for a couple weeks to correct). According to March of Dimes she already has the ability to suck/swallow which is a major problem with most premature infants, she can breath and chances of her being on oxygen are fairly slim and if she is it would be a CPAP most likely, nothing too bad... Something I think I could handle if I had to. Okay so here is more medications that they are having me take while I am at home: Procardia (a heart medicine) but is also used for stopping contractions. Side Effects to this: dizziness, lightheadedness, giddiness, flushing heat sensation, headache, weakness, nausea, heartburn, muscle cramps, tremors, peripheal edema, nervousness, mood change, palpatations, dyspnea, coughing, wheezing, nasal congestion, sore throat. I have 15 out of 19 of those side effects and they want me to TAKE THIS CRAP? I am scared that by trying to keep her in longer I am hurting her even more. I am scared that these medications will have long term effects on me as well. When I am not taking the medication I am still occasionally getting a very fast heart rate, sweating, hot flashes... I didn't start getting these symptoms until I had gotten my first two shots of terbutaline. I am scared and slowly starting to lose faith in my OB, why wasn't I informed of these side effects? We are supposed to get an informed decision but I don't think I was accurately informed and now I am starting to maybe regret my decisions. I know at 29 weeks she would have been very small and had a hard time, but now its 4 weeks later. The risk of having her now isn't horrible and I think its something emotionally I could handle. I am 7 weeks away from being 40 weeks and 4 weeks away from being 37 weeks which is considered full term. Is having her 4 weeks before full term going to effect her horribly? I think I am going to call my OB today and have a discussion with her. Right now I am just scared and pissed off that I have had to find this out all on my own, isn't a doctor supposed to be your advocate? To do no harm? Maybe I am being selfish but I am not sure if I really want to have any more of these shots or take any more of the medication that was sent home with me... What if I have a heart attack when M is at work? I know he worries about me all day and makes me call once an hour so the chances of me dying aren't too great, but hey things happen. I know I am just being paranoid but can you blame me?